cogotjesus. do you?

2010-03-21T10:22:00.002+13:00

... an earlier study which showed New Zealand women were the world's most promiscuous with an average of 20.4 sexual partners.
And Kiwi men, with an average of 16.9 partners...

Kiwi women most promiscuous - stuff.com

"They'll say, 'forget about getting involved mate, I just want some good sex and I want a casual partner I feel safe with'," Salisbury said. This could be a reaction to being hurt in relationships, she said.

Man ... how is that even something we can choose to brush off. Was so sad reading that .. Devastation bordering anger and frustration. Sigh.. how is this right? We're supposed to be the educated ones, who's voices will actually be heard here. Surely we're to have an idea of what's going on.. It so breaks my heart that we're giving away our utmost treasures away.

GRARR.. maybe I'll feel better after some ... drawing? :D

2010-03-18T16:43:00.002+13:00

Just thought I'd give a brief update.

Things are getting exponentially busy, and it's all a tad scary and overwhelming but I've been reminded to take things one step at a time and not to get too caught up with the bigger picture right this moment. Good advice I reckon for a year ahead that looks nothing remotely like HSFY. What a step up in making full use of term time. There's barely time to breathe and this has really caused for me to take my time management and prioritising skills to a whole new level.

Though, I definitely have to say that I can't be where I am now had God not pulled me away to this one corner of the world, alone, and ask for me to pursue Him. I don't think I can put it in mere words (one of the reasons being how lousy I am at putting my thoughts into words) but wow- Puji Tuhan.

(: Super big thumbs up to Him who continues to order my thoughts and my days. Thank you that you care enough to put me where I am today.

And guess what? I think I'm beginning to really enjoy what I'm doing. I think (:

Dunedin next next Saturday. I'm SO excited, as well as being so anxious and nervous at the thought of the weeks leading up to that and how it'll only get busier! Eeeps! At least it's not book work. Well, not so much of it xD

Over, and out!

2008-07-25T10:50:00.006+12:00

My head is full of random thoughts today:

I feel Moses telling me (as though I was one of the Israelites-ooh I could go off on a tangent right here) "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today, you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still".

I've been driven to the desert with purpose, even though there was an easier, cooler, shorter route. He chose the desert for me. So that I'd be desperate- and that I undoubtedly am.

Shing and I are uncannily alike.

Lotte is such a sweetheart.

Last night was good.

God is good.

2008-06-19T02:31:00.003+12:00

When I wanted to weep with all the wrongs going right, breakthrough came upon friendship, wisdom and revelation. (:

Thank you Ariel, thank you Ern. Unplanned but so extremely timely (it always is).

2008-06-04T00:09:00.006+12:00

It's by prayers of the freaking righteous that I'm still awake and leaving you now to study monoamines of the CNS before I crash and burn later tonight (or tmr morning).

Give it to God. Kim Possible's theme song is God's whisper to my ear:

Ooh yeah yea!!

I'm your basic every girl

and I'm here to save the world

you can't stop me cause I'm

Kim-Po-ssi-ble

There is nothing I can't do

but when danger calls just know that I'm on my way

It doesn't matter where or when there's trouble

If you just call my name

Kim Possible

Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me

when you wanna page me it's okay

whenever you need me baby

call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me

Doesn't matter where,

doesn't matter when

I will be there for you,

till the very end

Danger or trouble, I'm there on the double

You'll know that you can always call

Kim Possible

The greatest most mindless thing to watch on Sky when you need a break from something as silly as pharmacology.

Okay, my sister's calling for me to study with praline chocolates to bribe. Prayers of the Righteous (:

2008-06-03T00:35:00.000+12:00

Ya, you got me :)

2008-06-01T17:23:00.000+12:00

Wow - to many people. Wow.

2008-05-29T15:16:00.004+12:00

12/31 through, I'm nearly there I guess. I don't understand how my family holds 2 degrees, going on 3 and possibly a 4th in pharmacology. It's like, wrong and the department is so funky (and not in a good way).

I looked up my past posts (it's quite embarrassing), and this was what I wrote the first time I left for NZ:

In this Pandora's Box I hide:

the past regrets, guilt, pain and sorrow that has bleached me dry.

No more shall i cry, no more shall i weep;

reminiscing the damn beautiful memories on this black and white screen.

The thorns i've removed, the splinters i've made smooth;

O Lord i cry: will you see me through?

I embrace what's ahead of me, and close the heavy oak door i no longer want to see.

Taking my first step, i pray you'll be with me from the start.

Now i realise, take my world apart.

No I'm not proud of my poetry, but Ha-ha. Be very careful when you tell the God of everything to take your world apart - cos He will.

Yet above all else, I choose to praise you, just like Ethan the Ezrahite did.

2008-05-26T19:22:00.004+12:00

17 days till my useless educ252 exam.

15 days till my useless phsl231 exam.

12 days till my sister gets married.

12 days till robyn wong lee ming's 19th birthday.

11 days till the Lees are actually one big happy family (all coupled up with bfs and such).

10 days till my useless phal211 exam.

3 days till we're pampered with parental guidance in this household.

There's absolutely no time for anything or anyone to collapse. There's absolutely no time to sort things out. There's absolutely no time to ponder about life's great mysteries, nor about God's super secret plan for me which I still have not grasped.

But, thank you for sending that card, and yous who've attempted checking up on me. i heart you too (:

2008-05-16T10:58:00.000+12:00

I'm sorry I'm not quite the same spark.

2008-04-26T13:00:00.003+12:00

If you're still hanging in there despite my many weeks of black, glazed over faces, grunts, irresponsive texts and emails. If you've still managed a smile while having borne the brunt of having lunch or coffee dates with me postponed. If you've still not left me in the corner by now (despite me having left you there in the first place). If you've still not rolled your eyes at me (despite it being the norm if you've already). If you've still not talked to someone about how I'm mistreating the relationship. If you've still not thrown a possibly much-deserved fit at me for being so damn absent, I think you're amazing.

Cos I'm counting on you, besides God of course, at a time like this to have already picked up the cues despite my mouth so very tightly sealed. I'm counting on you to confront me in a way that you know will give me the space I need, and yet know when to nudge me in the ribs if I'm going the wrong way. I'm not going to anyone, and neither am I picking, I'm just glad that there are some who are out-standing for me. They haven't given up on me despite my record breaking absence and times of being MIA on much of the world. They choose to persist without selfish reasons.

Someone did warn me that this season would drain my people tank, but in doing so, my God tank will be over flowing beyond my imagination.

I'm dreadfully sorry if I've let anyone down over the past few weeks. I truly am. Even if you've already given up on me, I thank you for your grace nevertheless because I'd never expect any of this out of any of yous. It demands such grace and love, patience and understanding I'd never dare ask for, but oh-am-gee, thank yous, seriously.

God, you're so so good.

2008-04-22T13:51:00.002+12:00

GOD! Give me grace please. The grace people have given me for being such an ass as of late. God will you give me the same kind of grace for people who are being such major asses to me. please.

I will get back to you, I promise. Heh, all of you.

EDUC252 burn and diee... you drain my soul and rip my flesh to pieces, you cruel, cruel unformed, yet insanely deformed, being.

2008-04-19T23:41:00.003+12:00

Man, things are getting crazy huh. Things are actually getting pretty insane. I remember saying a week and a half ago (on that fateful day), that these aren't my matchsticks to hold up. Honestly, at this point of time, I could very well let go and have these matchsticks come crashing down on me.

Things are just getting really busy with essays and assignments due after the holidays, lectures to catch up on before the next terms, designs I've promised to produce within the week(which I really love doing, but funny how they're all needing to be done round the same time, i.e. now), and learning to cope with relational emotional baggage which I really should address soon.

It's tough on the body, spirit and soul, and while on normal circumstance I could feel quite weighed down, tonight I just feel like my matchsticks are being held up. I feel like I'm being held up.

Hee, God is good.

2008-04-17T10:53:00.000+12:00

If we want it, we've just all got to try a little harder. good-bye.

2008-04-16T10:03:00.003+12:00

I can't stop eating. Someone seriously needs to check up on me. I've got a sore throat from all this eating, but I just keep dosing up on the kaya anyway. Seriously, kaya with EVERYTHING, from toast to weetbix to spicy fruit muffin. I see Mrs double chin peeking right through. oh-am-gee (esther-style)..

I think God was trying to tell me to stop eating when a crumb got flicked into my eye. But I just kept going. heh, sorry. disobedience but yum!

And oh-my-double-gerr-osh. I'm sleeping so much. Frick. Frick. Frick.

On the side note, while I'm not so proud of my chicken gobbling and sloth-like sleep, I am incredibly impressed with something else I did, even though it got a No- hee.

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: rejoice! Even when you've got another 15 odd lectures on panadol to get through by Friday arvo, a drug assignment and a dumb essay on motivation due the monday after hols, and having the weight of pulling off 3 pieces of fine art work by this weekend. Rejoice, I will say it again: Rejoice.

Jane: Oh Jane.. glad we talked ;p always glad when we do.

2008-04-02T19:55:00.004+13:00

God, teach me to LOVE the people who don't love me as I love them.

Teach me to BLESS the people who don't bless me as I bless them.

Teach me to be PATIENT with those who demand that I willingly give what I don't want to.

Teach me to see MORE in people rather than what's in my face at the moment.

Teach me not to SIGH and ROLL my eyes

Teach me not to want to SCREAM, SHOUT and JUMP about;

and if I do, Teach me to do it so I can make you SMILE.

Bless my wee servant heart that seriously really wants to pull out,

and bless the wee servant hearts that have been saying the same prayer about me.

2008-03-26T02:20:00.002+13:00

My sister got engaged! Isn't that soo exciting? I must say it's about time anyway heh Brent. The rock's pretty, the girl's hot, and the wedding is gonna be amazing. With pro party planners like Carol, Jo and myself who have CVs lined with event planning all for the same organisation this party is gonna bring the freaking house down!

Hee, and dad knows this is just the very start of it, and it'll definitely get worse, I mean better. heh (:

God's been doing a great deed in me. Including desperately trying to shake me free from those rusty old chains that over much of my 17 years bound me from his freedom. I must say, there has been a lot of closet cleaning as of late, and it's actually quite tiring. God be my strength - as I always say, and as You always turn out to be, so I'll keep saying it - God be my strength (:

One of the many things I've come to learn is that relationships require work, love and honesty. I think it's funny when you can sit back and throw your feet up sitting next to your buddy and laugh about the silliest things, like how one would be jealous of the other for 'forgetting' her and spending more time with other people. Hee, okay I didn't get to throw my feet up for this one, but I did have a great laugh with you ro (: But, what happens when you're just seriously too flipping tired and couldn't give a hoot cos you've already overworked?

2008-03-23T23:30:00.002+13:00

Ha-ha-ha. SO many things have been happening, and it's only the 23rd of March! If I had the energy (I went running, yes I ran) I would type the past month out, but I'd just leave it as this: God's doing some amazing things - seriously. And well, if you want to know I really just wanna say that you should already know. Ah, hehehe freak our God is good ((:

2008-03-17T21:59:00.004+13:00

You'll Come - Hillsong

Chains be broken; Lives be healed; Eyes be opened

Christ is the King

I have decided I have resolved

To wait upon You Lord

My rock and Redeemer shall not be moved

I'll wait upon You Lord

And surely as the sun will rise

You'll come to us

As certain as the dawn appears

You'll come let your glory fall

As you respond to us

Spirit reign flood into our thirsty hearts again

You come

We are not shaken we are not moved

We wait upon you Lord

Our Mighty deliverer my triumph and truth

We wait upon you Lord

2008-02-06T04:29:00.000+13:00

Faith is knowing that you've got a God bigger than the shitload of "nice-looking" plans ahead.
A God bigger than the ties you've cut, the friends lost to other lands, the dreams swallowed up, and the "plans" you so carefully structured for yourself since who knows when.

Ro, I so need a hug from YOU now. I miss you so much I could/would/have cried. COOOOMEE BACK. 2008 looked so bleak as it is, and now you leave. No one understands me like you do.. You amazing thing: as much as I don't want you to go cos you have to leave me, time for you to bless some other people I guess *sniff*. But, know that while I'm dreadfully bitter about all of this, I'm supporting you wherever you end up- KNOW THAT, YOU HEAR?! ok, love you more than cherry cheese cake pie sweetie. Check back on my vital status every second or send me a defibrilator so i can shock myself when my heart goes wonky k?

2008-01-31T03:59:00.000+13:00

Ties untied. What a way to start the new year. Stupid, stupid, everything. Just try getting me out of my bed now.

2008-01-24T23:16:00.001+13:00

There's so much I want for to happen, but barely anything I can do about it.
Never have I felt this tried, and never have I felt so willing to give up.
Yet I hear that still small voice telling me that this is my Hebrew's 10 season- a season of great faith.

This year suddenly looks very, very daunting. Shit.

2008-01-10T22:12:00.000+13:00

I like the feeling when a year has passed, and whether good or bad, we can look forward to what the new year brings. Whether it means putting down old habits, setting for ourselves new ground rules, or the great gift of looking forward to amazing things that we have faith He will bless us with, it's an exciting thing we should embrace and not step back out of intimidation.

I have many new resolutions, but one thing that I've learnt last year is not to let anything get in the way of His plans for me. Be it the all-too-common fear of what people are thinking or saying about me, or the emotional baggage of every other person on the road that is not of mine to carry. I'm set on picking up my cross everyday- letting go and letting God.

Sulyn and Jian came by Singapore and THAT WAS FUN (: From the fish nibbling our dead-skinned feet, to frog leg porridge, from tandem biking in the rain to that 1am kopicino that kept our dear Sulyn awake for our 4am girly talk the morning she was to leave.

Come back soon our lovely Malaysian friends! (: Pictures are on facebook!

2007-12-28T04:40:00.001+13:00

How do I say it? Eden, Hannah.. help ):

2007-12-23T02:26:00.000+13:00

I agree with Rob.

As for the rest of you, hang in there, cos I know He has some seriously amazing plans for you (: Plans that surpass any great dreams you thought you had, plans that you can trust your Dad with, plans that will come to light if you hang on tight. The world fails my darlings, and this might be the year he chooses to use to teach you that, but know that YOUR God will never ever let you down.

2007-12-21T05:55:00.000+13:00

Stay away for a while ok? I need a break, and I need to find my feet again. I need to remember why He put me where things are, and things where I am. I need to sort out my thoughts and get back to you. I need to catch a breather of the Spirit and get back on track beside His footsteps, not yours. I need to be me again. Love you lots.

As for the rest of you... Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year (: I'm sure I'll say it again soon, but to all the uncontactables in Chiang Mai, Japan, Korea, Batam, Melbourne, Kuching, KL, Christchurch, Auckland, Vancouver, I LOVE YOU! Mwuaaacks!

God works in funny, funny ways ay?

2007-12-16T04:26:00.000+13:00

Me, Xin and Laiyee

The View From Our Side (do you see the sun?!) - Laiyee, Suyee, Cong

What Makes Our Class (well most of it!) (From L to R, Top to Bottom)

Cheryl (Treasurer- we were never in debt thanks to you!), Co (Welfare I/C- I kept the class clean.. as usual), Suyee (The Bomb of a Girl- So privileged to have had you sit behind me and entertain cong! Only you had the patience! haha..)
Xin (Chairman 05- you were the best at giving out toilet passes!), Cong (Phys. Ed Rep - you and your funny stretches!), Laiyee (Chairman 06 - I missed your action, but I know you were amazing!)

My Very Very Gorgeous Girls (:

Thank you for the new light you've shone! I used to think Singapore was a place full of stuck-up asians who strive for nothing but social status, wealth and power. Tonight however, has reminded me of the goodness of His people. No doubt there are many who strive for something I don't, but He oh so gently reminded me of amazing amazing people. The second 'amazing' emphasizing how amazing they really are.

I believe it's nearly a virtue when the citizens of any high city life can cast aside all that they are- the clothes they wear, the education, or that high paying job they have- aside. I respect and fully look up to those who do, and they were the girls at my table tonight.

They are the girls who don't see the use of talking behind other people's backs, the girls who have the most beautiful smiles and the most graceful laughter. Graceful not in the sense of hiding their mouths behind chinese fans (because they do the total opposite of that). Graceful in the sense that it's a laugh that doesn't entangle gossip or scorn, hurtful spite or putting any single person out of place.

God, I thank you for that, thank you for showing me your grace amidst this crazy crazy crowd. The second 'crazy' emphasizing how crazy it actually can be back here.

I'm so filled with joy, the kind of joy that sees me smiling on the train, tapping my feet to Mae, and wanting to break out in dance, even if it's in front of everyone.

2007-12-14T04:49:00.000+13:00

Do you see the Christmas tree?

Hot: Me, Xin, Cheryl, Cong.

Not so hot.

Freaking.

Disgustingly.

HOT! hahaha...

Just had an amazing day out with three of my high school classmates yesterday. I honestly hadn't had such fun in a while, and it was so good to catch up and reminisce on the good 'ol times. We just sat down, talked, ate, laughed freaking a lot (nearly choking on my precious chicken rice), walked about, went on a rampage looking for cheap clothes, sat down, talked some more, laughed some more and went absolutely insane cam-whoring as you'd have been able to tell if not from here, then from facebook. HEHEHE.

We had an incredible time poking fun at Cong who came back from Perth with the strangest sounding accent. Just remember love, we were laughing with you, not at you ;p hehe.. you know we still love you! Cheryl had her wee once-a-year shopping rampage (to which we joined in with) and Xin, made everything so freaking funny that she left us all heading home with extremely sore stomache and cheek (face) muscles, headaches and backaches.

In conclusion to those hours of butt throbbing reminiscing and the unanimous decision to debut Cheryl in her hot dress, we forced Xin to organise a class party. So ALL A2 PEOPLE OF 05/06 THERE'S A CLASS PARTY THIS SATURDAY :D Talk about exciting! And people who can't make it, remember, we'll be thinking of you (:

Alright, my blonde moment for the day was asking the guy at the convenient store (on the way back from an 8 hour long day of laughing) for a starbucks card when what I really meant was a Starhub card (prepay card). Haha.. how freaking embarrassing.

SAH: You were the one whispering weren't ya? *winks*

ARIEL: I've yet to ask you about the book! SUCH and amazing book, just that I don't understand like a lot. haha!

MANJO: Guess who I hear coughing outside?! Go put on some korean drama to ease that cough!

ROB: teeheehee.. come back soon! I know we so have psychic powers ay ay?? Can't wait to see the hair! Can't be as bad as mine. Haha, but am totally embracing the good, bad and disgustingly ugly..

2007-12-10T03:42:00.001+13:00

Man Rob, I wish you were here. So I could squeeze you tight and you could squeeze me back tighter. So I could cry and you wouldn't ask what's wrong. So I could booger all over you and you'd send some tissue my way exactly when I need it. So I could hug you and you wouldn't let go or loosen that grip any looser before I first let go.

Man Su, I wish you were here. So I could lay in your lap and cry and you wouldn't try and interrupt my cry. So you'd comfort me with a song and stroke my hair that'd actually make me cry more. So you'd pray over me as I cried louder, and you'd laugh when I'd finish crying and look disgustingly boogery and red.

Man Jane, I wish you were here. So I wouldn't cry but be comforted by your mighty prayers as you prayed over. So I would be blessed by your insight into the Word and be assured of His mighty hand. So I would know clearly the path that's before me and whether I've choiced right or otherwise.

Man Jane, I wish you were here. So that I wouldn't need to cry or look upset when I see you, cos looking at how you live for God, how you leave everything to Him, and how you trust him with that mighty faith of yours, makes me smile and realise how good He is.

Man Ariel, I wish you were here. So that I could hug you and you'd drop your keys to let me know you could bring me home later so you could be with me.

Man B, I wish you were here. So that I could tell you everything right now and you'll tell me I'm doing good.

But I guess none of you are, and I guess He wants to me to get out of this boat so I can walk the waters with Him.

2007-12-07T12:38:00.000+13:00

This rollercoaster ride has turned really mellow. Where the ups are quick tiny brief bumps and the downs are long dull shallow trenches. Just pondering whether this ride is worth getting off for a while.

Yet something, there's always that something reminding me to hang in there, cos it's so sweet at the end. Although I know I'm running out of fuel, that something reminds me that life off that ride is a life not worth living.

Man, trying to silence those voices within is so.freaking.difficult.

ZO: HAPPY BIRTHDAY (: Thankew hor, for watching out and taking care of me this year. Love you lots even though I don't always show it - you better know it. Truely, beyond blessed to have someone as you as my jie. SEE YOU TONIGHT! I don't think I can knit in time :/ I was knitting since 2am in the morning, but i'll try before you get back ;p

NAD: Hello darling! Yes yes! Let's meet up x) You can tell me all your tramping stories and we can make resolutions together for next year! Hehehehe. Hope you're well, and I'm so excited to meet up with you (:

ROB: RUUUFFF! Hehe, where are u Ro? Are u still in Auckland? When are u coming back? MISSING YOU MORE THAN EDDY OR EDDIE. I forget how to spell the last part of his name. Hehe. MWUACKS. Hope you're feeling better since that yucky day too (:

2007-12-01T04:42:00.000+13:00

'Be still, and dwell in His presence.' Words so often spoken, but it's only tonight that I realise it's one of the hardest things I've been called to do. I'm the girl who's choked with obligations, requests and favours I find hard to say No to, the girl who multi-tasks and multi-thinks way too well, and the girl that is never at peace.

How shall I put it? 'Being still' is like the duration of flexing your abs to try and gain that flat tummy, that time you're strung into a corset to look... good, that period of breath-holding to get rid of those annoying hiccups. It sucks at that point in time, trying to focus all of you to be in that zone, but after all of that it's just ... GOOD!

So being the girl that cannot sit still, tonight sparked a bit of a challenge. I felt so in need to be in His presence and I sat myself down. Songs started to play and I started singing. Then i just felt these words impressed upon me, 'Co, just shut up. Just shut up and, ... be still'. I realised I sung cos I had to do something! As the line 'I'll sing because the world can't take away your love' played, I drew up an insanely huge smile. Just that tonight it was more like 'I won't sing because the world can't take away your love'. Hee.

And then, I remembered Jane Lee's personalised Ephesian prayer for me.
"I pray that out of Your glorious riches You may strengthen me with power through Your Spirit in my inner being, so that Christ may dwell in my heart through faith. And I pray that me, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that I may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." - Ephesians 3:16-19

God is so, so faithful.

2007-12-01T02:36:00.000+13:00

I kinda miss the busy-ness of term time, the running around and non-stop activity. I'm just whaling away at home everyday now- waking up at 10.30 in the morning, facebooking & emailing & jelly tofu-ing at the computer, blowing my nose (dreaded dust), watching brainless DVDs like Hairspray and Nacho Libre, overeating and thinking way too much.

Although I think I'm called to be away from work and from all that busy-ness so I can have moments where I can't just cover up the issues with study, church stuff and designing. Called to be in a place where I have to face those thoughts and go to that place of desperation, simply because I can no longer concuss myself out from exhaustion.

Man, I'm not sure I want to be called.

I know that scaffold has to be taken off now, but I'm just not sure I can stand on my own.

2007-11-30T00:09:00.000+13:00

One pulls me this way, another pulls me that way. Hello? I'm caught right in the middle here. Summer calls for a FREEZE- let's take a break shall we, "and gain some perspective"?

Dad and jie says I should anyway. See you next year! Heh, see if that happens.

And how is it the Malaysians found it funny when I said that the mosquito inspector came by today?

Excitement of my very mundane day:

YAY SULYN! Come to Sia-pore x) If that really does happen, give me a heads up lahling! hehee.. Tops, shoes, dresses, pants, jeans, pedicures, manicures, sunshine, food, amazing company *winks*, fun fun fun!!! SO good to have spoken to you again!

YAY JANE! You're graduating!! SO good to have spoken to you again too! Tough on the laggy line *winks* I win. Hehe. When are YOU coming to Singapore??

I MISS YOU ARIEL!! Insanely (:

2007-11-25T22:05:00.000+13:00

This post is dedicated to Jane Lim, Claire & Gina.

The odd dialogue between my dentist and I this weekend.

Dr Cheong: It's going to be a big battle between your tongue and saliva, but i'll try and make things work la.
Me: *orh* (me struggling to give a reply with a million instruments in my mouth)

Dr Cheong: Wha, it's very difficult to access that back molar with all this excess teeth, that tongue and it keeps flooding! But we'll try our best hor.
Me: *rolls eyes* (cos that's the only thing I could do at that point)

Dr Cheong: (after ranting about Malaysia, water and politics he casually drops a comment that nearly makes me choke with laughter) The sucker is very important, if not it's like driving in a heavy rain!

Then my mum casually pops her head through the door. Both stop to have a wee chat about my teeth and the difficulties he's facing, kindly forgetting he left all his tools in my already-very-tired-and-dry mouth, and leaving me nearly choking from all that 'flooding'.

I'm sure my darlings, you will all have better things to talk about when you're working with your patients (: Hehe..

ARIEL: I miss you too hun! Did you get my email? (:

2007-11-23T04:55:00.000+13:00

Summer spells high teas and lots of boutique stores, or in another not-so-distant-land - kopis and butiks. Well, just as we have our lovely Malaysian darlings bashing us Singaporeans, I bash back (lah!). Haha, but you know we still love you!

Day out with the Kuching-ers was somehow very exhausting! BUT, I did make it through all that food, shopping and the 3 hour long sushi buffet. Even the two very potent kopis couldn't keep me from my inevitable food coma half an hour into that buffet. Oh well, I tried!

The Kuching Bunch- Ern, Shing, Esther, Kern

The Girls Gone Slightly Insane- Co, Shing, Esther, Kim

Otago Bunch at Ya Kun- Kern, Co, Ern, Kim

Day out with Ken and Jean was good fun (: It's been way too long since we've had our heart-to-heart chats. While Enchanted wasn't all that enchanting, I had a good laugh laughing at Jean who was actually laughing at the show. Haha! Jean says I look like Ken, really?

Sitting by the Taka Fountain- Co, Ken, Jean

My darling Jean and I by the Same Christmas Tree as Before

God has been moo-ving (I miss NZ) massive cloud castles over the past week. I can't believe it's already been a week! Well, not too long before we head back- haha, can't believe I just said that.

He said to me, 'I promise to guard your heart, if you promise to give it to me.'

ERN: I miss you too lor! Hope you had fun while in Sia-pore, and you're all settled in watching Naruto and the lot back in Kuching.

2007-11-18T01:43:00.000+13:00

Amelia, Xin, Me & Ting

It was just supposed to be Ting and I out at far east today, but Xin called and decided to join us cos she figured neither of us would know our way around - so true. Hahaha!! Got to meet the shopping connoisseur Amelia. And I still love you all even though you girls laugh your bonkers out at me and my sua-ku-ness. Can't wait for our next date at Bugis girls!

I'm still adamant that Singapore should somehow find ways to decrease its population per square metre ratio. Today, while feeling unnaturally happy seeing the tops and shoes and bags and earrings and displayed everywhere, I had my embarrassing moment for the day. I stopped to look at stuff, was going to turn around to tell Xin about my find, then I talked into this lady's face cos she totally walked between Xin and I, and just as I was going to turn back to save my already lost face, I'd hit a lady (who'd found her way through me and my find) on her head with my head. OOPS. man embarrassing.

SAH: sad right.. I feel blonder than you now. Country bumpkin in the city. Meh. WHY? do i look like i've lost weight? Apparently I should be losing weight.

2007-11-17T02:09:00.000+13:00

The first day out roaming the streets of Singapore, after 10 months away from city-life, i find myself lost- very lost. Argh, honestly, they shouldn't have as many as 7 exits at a single train station, more than one bus stop and two overhead bridges all within 50 metres of each other.

Dad: Co where are you?
Co: outside Outram MRT *sniff* the part outside SGH (Singapore General Hospital)
Dad: okayy... did you cross the overhead bridge?
Co: Yes.. But i came from the other exit so am I on the right side??
Dad: Do you see an overhead bridge??
Co: Yes..
Dad: Can you see the overhead bridge from the bus stop you're at?
Co: Yes.. But there are *sniff* two bus stops, which one??
Dad: two?!
Co: Yes, two! I'm outside a bus terminal.
Dad: Bus terminal?? alright, stay there. Do you see a bend? I'm coming around the bend
Co: There are like a million bends!
Dad: Okay I see you, do you see me?
Co: No! oh wait, yes.

-_-.. FREAK I was on the wrong side of the hospital the adjacent road (the one i was supposed to be on) had an overhead bridge too, and had another train exit. HONESTLY, country bumpkin or otherwise, I think I'm too traumatised to head out again. I have half a day to recompose myself before I have to head to town tomorrow. That shouldn't be too bad right?

I told Deborah: Singapore either has to reclaim more land, or export its citizens for more money to reclaim land. TOO many exits, TOO many people, TOO many cars, TOO MANY!!
I'm gonna sleep in tomorrow, and wake up at 6.30am.
On a lighter note. I got to meet 9 of my girls! All in one day too. Had a good time catching up reminiscing and laughing at each other. So good to see you girls (:

Miss-Pro-Sailor-Deb and I at Guthrie House

The still ever retardedly blonde Xin and I at Guthrie

Eden and I on Ting's bed - Gawsh I miss you darling.

Debbie and I who have got to learn how to take photos together properly. Hee.

Ting, Debbie and Xin

2007-11-16T13:13:00.000+13:00

I love you Jane.

Thank you for every part of you. I'm gonna miss you calling me 'dumb-dumb-ahhh' right before the exams (: I'm gonna miss that squeaky table of yours. I'm gonna miss your loveliness and your smile. and i'm looking forward to that wedding ah! haha, or that teeth clean, whichever comes first. haha! I'm gonna miss our Sunday night dates when you cooked for me just before oxygen. I'm gonna miss your bed, but most of all, i'm gonna miss YOU (: All the best lahling, wherever you are, remember that You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.

I love you Jane.

Thank you for showing me what being strong is about. Just watching you grow and stepping out in faith has been such a blessing. Man love, you have no idea. I'm so glad to have been able to witness the way in which He worked in your life. So amazed, and i'm gonna miss that sporadic uncontrallable overflow of joy(: I'm gonna miss the floor thumping noise, screams, laughter and smiles. HEHE. gonna miss every wee bit of you. Thank you for this year, and i know you're gonna take CNN by storm (: can't wait!!

I love you Claire-bear (:

Claire! thanks for this year- you've been so amazing, and i thank God for you leading and being there to guide the footsteps i take, your amazing wisdom and your love for me (: Thank you for the wee packages that come along with being in your lifegroup, they never ceased to cheer me up and remind me what it means to love and care. Thank you, and i wish you all the very best in SYDNEY! shooopping! hehe, stay in touch k!

I love you Sah.

You, mizz sah have been amazing. Thank you for tolerating all my nonsense while you had your own nonsense to deal with. Thank you for trusting me enough to account to me and bring accounting to a whole new level. Thank you for your words of wisdom, love and encouragement. Thank you for always supporting me and never giving up on the failure that i always prove myself to be. Thank you for the insane retreat peatments, sia-pore bashing, unstoppable laughter, failed-waking-me-up-attempts, naps that never worked, coffees, chats, lunches and prayers (: Thank you, and THANK GOD i still have you for another half a year (at least). Muacks! and you're now officially 22years and 2 days old. Hope it was the best 22nd you could have! love you so so much.

Hello, and goodbye.

Ern: I can pass you photos when you drop by sia-pore (: OR i could pass them to you in Kuching, OR i can pass them to you in 3 months time. hehe

2007-11-11T20:06:00.000+13:00

The All-Sorts-of-Amazing Sulyn.

The O2 Band on the Acoustic Set

Mel and Paul Beyond the Veil

Mr. JEW - Jen Ern Wong (:

Kev on the Bridge of Redeemer

Kern on the Acoustic Set

Dan-the-Man indeed

Here are some of the many photos from the Here I Am concert (thanks Jo) (: Man I was so proud, watching back from the sound desk. Those incredibly exhausting hours and talent and drive put into this, finally all falling into place over what seemed like the shortest 2 hours. It was a huge privilege not only to have been a part of this production but also working with the most amazing crew, albeit the smallest i've worked with (considering the impact of the performance).

Kudos to the amaaaazingly retarded and talented Chris, Ben and Jian for keeping their cool while we took turns freaking out. It was fun being the only wee girl in the entire ninja-gang of a crew behind the sound desk and cameras, hehe. I'd never done visuals for a concert before, but it was an incredible experience, and a huge smack in the face of how little i know about plugs and wires stuffed into where and there. Nonetheless, it was good good fun (:

And to the amazing-ness(es) on stage. Well done, all you ordinary people blessed by and extraordinary God that have taken up that little something of a talent to serve (:

KEV: I'm so proud of you bro. So, so proud of your faith and your heart that has made such a huge step this year to serve in all ways possible. Well done in serving, and trust me when I say that your family's so proud to see where you are now (: I know I most certainly am. See you soon!

DAN: Man Dan i'm so impressed with your strength and passion. God has some amazing plans for this heart of yours that's so obedient and keen to serve. Well done with everything. As that angel, i'm truely smiling as to where you are now. Keep seeking Him and He will add all unto you; you know that. Well done (:

KERN: K-mannn! I SMILE everytime i see you going hard out on that wee drum set. haha, awesome stuff, and absolutely amazed at that talent. absolutely blown away (: Good stuff and YOU continue seeking Him in all you do too. Hehe thanks for the seaweed. Chris didn't like it so i had the whole stash to me-self! haha!!

ERN: ernnnnnnn. WOW?! hee. wow to your amazing-ness on that bass. wow to that dedication and to that heart. wow to that flame that's still flickering. wow to serving at church this morning even though you barely had any sleep the entire week. wow to all of that and thank you for wanting to be there for me yesterday (:

SU: gawwsh you thing of amazing talent. So, so, so proud of you. That courage, that voice, those key-playing lot of a skills. That strength, that love (: I don't even know what to say to you after all of this, but I am proud and your big Daddy is proud too. So proud you've come out to be that woman with such huge child-like faith. So incredibly proud. Thank you for saving me today; you're my superhero girl - lunch was goood (:

musos, if u want the pics, give me a shout before this thurs!

2007-11-04T21:12:00.000+13:00

Now I know why God takes away. He takes away so we can focus on Him. It's when He finds we've lost Him out of our sight that He takes away. So when you lose something, your job, your grades, your career, your family, your friend even perhaps, it's cos He wants you to drop all that you're doing, build a sky-high red brick wall around your perimeters and lay your eyes on Him.

Okay, dropped, built, looking.

Try that. Instead of running away.

2007-11-04T15:54:00.000+13:00

It's been a while since the last drop fell, and now it's pouring outside. It's also been a while since the clouds have enjoyed the embrace of our wee harbour. The clouds are loving it so much i can't see a thing through them. Just an opaque white band of cloud. The sun is trying to shine through. This i know cos the clouds are reflecting it into my eyes, and it hurts. It suddenly got so bright, i thought the clouds had cleared - obviously not.

I'm not alone meh? But, I somehow do feel quite alone. But i'll just keep chugging along (love you ting.)

you cloudy wee thing.

ARIEL: oh man darling! i haven't seen u in like, forever! where are youuu?? have you left ALREADY?!

2007-11-02T10:28:00.000+13:00

I found something funny on Threadless.com

I just remembered, "i promise to restrain" heh, not abstain. So phew, I didn't sin (:

2007-10-24T23:09:00.000+13:00

This is my Vanila Child Season.

SAH: *sigh-meh* yes, it's just round the corner. I think this path i'm taking is round. :/ but thanks babe. thanks (:

ARIEL: i love you too. *muacks*

2007-10-22T22:40:00.000+13:00

Thank you for this red brick wall. Thank you for showing me why it might have to be going up, and how it's a good thing, rather than a bad thing. Thank you for showing me the beauty of imperfection in people.

Yay to many many things. Yay to your presence God- for being with me today. I'll just keep pressing in, even if tomorrow actually follows the severe weather warning that might tear down power poles and damage buildings. I'll keep pressing in. I don't know how or when or why, but I'm gonna learn to be excited for my season, and not just theirs.

2007-10-20T23:55:00.000+13:00

God take over, seriously. You've got to show your face sooner or later cos i'm expecting something. Something really huge, and i'm expecting you to turn this life around. I'm expecting you to be more than the rest of them. I'm expecting you not to treat me like they do, i'm expecting the windows of heaven to fling wide open so you can pour your blessings. Pressed down, shaken together, running over. HECK it's hard, but i'm just gonna keep digging. I've come this freaking far, sacrificed this freaking much a crap load of crap (not comparing to yours of course), made some unwanted but evidently necessary decisions. I'm where I am, and I'm going to keep treading these super muddy waters cos I'm expecting so much more out of life than this. I was safe where I was before, but you threw reasons at me to disturb this spirit. Safe, but so not content. And tired and weary, heck I am. So tired, so uber weary, but I guess I'll hold out for just another 5 minutes, yeah jane?

SIDE NOTE: MANN, su i'm so uber uber proud of you gorgeous (: You're gonna be on my Top 25 on itunes. ahh luv you hun, continue to use it for His mightyyyy glory you hear! AH I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU! and you looked EXTRA gorgeous today cos you were so happy! hehe. muacks!

NAD: you've been hiding from me! hehe, i've been good (: hope you're well too! did that email speak to you? or was it just me being random? hahahaha.. muacks!

2007-10-19T08:24:00.001+13:00

No no no no no ... *twiddles finger left to right*, I'm so not pulling off an Ay-Jay.

2007-10-18T10:24:00.001+13:00

Is it true that You are thinking of me? *blushes*

2007-10-17T21:42:00.000+13:00

Thoughts everywhere. My mind's a chaotic mess I tell you. Where oh where do I go from here?

2007-10-15T10:51:00.000+13:00

SAH: oh my goodness, i LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU TOO SAH! how do i not hug you over the next few weeks?!?!?!

TAE: added (:

JESS: YES WE DO HAVE bschimmt -_-.. haha!

RO: tee-ber-doo is righto! haha (: keep pressing in babe. LOVE YEWW

2007-10-09T11:17:00.000+13:00

Bernhard Schmitt my renal lecturer has become noise.

Su, i've torn down the white picket fence, and the red brick wall has been erected.

HAHA code words -_-.. psst! the eagle has landed. I repeat, the eagle has landed!

ARIEL: yah you poo-poo face! meh, missed you! HEY there is no polyamorous relationship going on here! it's just u know, taking care of each other (: love you bubs! miss you like heck.

ERN: yay (:

2007-10-07T12:06:00.000+13:00

How, how? Freaking heck, HOW?

How on all the vast plains, mighty valleys and most grandeur plateaus on earth?

2007-10-07T11:16:00.001+13:00

If God had facebook, He'd be spamming me with eggs, plants, grafittis, voting for me as his top friend, filling my entire wall with love notes, and be superpoking me 24/7. Yea, that's why He can't have an account, he'd jam the entire system.

The weather is so bipolar i find it difficult not to feel like i look stupid carrying my big blacker with me when the sun is SHINING through that not-so-mock blanket of clouds.

Kev, Dan, a couple of others and I headed to watch the Watoto Children's Choir. man.. *feels slightly faint*. The voices, the dances, the smiles - that's God. That even though we all go through our very difficult times, we should hang in there and know who's God of our lives.

Let me sing, let me dance, let me talk about it.
I am not forgotten, God knows my name!
I am not forgotten, God knows my name!
He knows my name (:
I will praise you, I will praise you,
For i am fearfully and wonderfully made!

Yay-yeh (: I also got to adopt a beautiful darling. And she's mine to love now! YAY. heh. Alrighty, thank you God for your revelations thus far.

And while I took my little break to pray for a darling of mine, I came upon a verse. Funny how sometimes you know of verses from ten years back, but only get to truely understand it when He blesses you with the verse. When He provides that strength through the verse from a certain someone or when He in His most subtle form whispers it into your very ear. A verse I've heard a hundred times (or more), but i just couldn't help smiling while muttering each facet of the verse under my breath as i headed to cross campus back to dreaded crap, i mean work.

To whomever that might be in the very position I might be in:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:4-7

Dee end. The end of my very very random post.

SU JANE ERN: we can do this (: don't all break down together, we should plan it so that i can plan my hugs and prayers to accomodate the rising cortisol levels. If not, just telephone to Jesus (:

2007-10-06T23:01:00.000+13:00

I Love You Lord

I love you Lord

And I lift my voice.

To worship You

O my soul, rejoice!

Take joy my King

In what You hear

May it be a sweet, sweet sound

in Your ear.

I remember your angel singing that to me when i was crying my eyes out. Thank You for blessing me with Your angels. I just suddenly remembered the song when I was showering. Funny how I remember the weirdest things when I have my time alone in the shower. Haha!

Sorry I'm not much to You. Not much to your people, but won't You use me, and take me as I am? I give all that I am to You, whatever I may have, use it for YOU (:

Revelation has struck! (: YAY.

SAH: i love you too sah sah! haha (: YOU better be hanging in there k? muacks! i've got stories to tell! hope you're having fun with your famery (family)!

JANE: eh... don't mean to burst your bubble darling, but which jane is this ah? to jane lim: you have to sign off as lim, and to jane lee: you have to sign off as lee. whether you're lim or lee: HELLO JANE!! hahahahha (:

2007-10-03T15:15:00.000+13:00

And so is my Jesus. I can do this! and so can you my dahhhh-lings (:

Taken from postsecret.blogspot.com

2007-10-03T12:47:00.000+13:00

I'm tired. I'm really really really tired. But i'm going to keep trying. Gonna keep treading these very muddy-murky-micky-meeky-mocky waters cos that's the strength You've given me.

Thank You for every aspect of my perfectly wonderful hand-woven situation, that's gonna see me grow taller and mightier than I can even imagine.

Thank you for this and that, and thank you I have You.

2007-09-28T09:16:00.000+12:00

God give me streehh.. God give me strehhHH.. God give me strangggggg.. God give me straaaaaang-th-pth-th-pth *saliva flying all over the place* !!

No.

God be my strangth. I mean strength (:

2007-09-24T21:58:00.000+12:00

Count'd '07 was super (:

Although I didn't get to soak up the teachings from the start till the end of the conference, i realise that I do still have my soft spot for kids. Between Jo, Torr and I, we only had 3 kids, and we didn't stick to any plan of ours, but the smiles on their faces were all that mattered. It nearly felt like God was smiling through his little children. Their innocent laughs and giggles amidst the chaotic planning was all that was needed to make things go a-okay (: It was great fun, i even got sore bouncing on the bouncy castle. haha..

Count'd kids aside, friday night and saturday night brought me to a whole new level. Worship was awwwwwwwwesome! haha!! and i love the way the pacific islanders just do their thing! i love the culture and it was such an honour to have been part of that conference. I have all the songs stuck in my head now, and it doesn't stop playing! heh, at least they're good-God songs (:

pressed down (hands push the air down)

shaken together (wiggles hip)

running over (hand doing a funny wiggle thing)

in the favour of God! (finger points up and down like a 70s dance)

Hehe! It was one tiring weekend. Tiring but so fulfilling. So full of God-moments and so full of love. I did meet God. Met him places and ways I never thought I would. I had my moments of having to confront fears and problems I've for too long been too scared to face and had just chucked aside. Count'd stirred those back up and I had God kindly remind me that I may be going through a dry season, but all the great women in the Bible went through their dry seasons. Did they not also have their seasons of mighty celebrations and joy after? I'm excited! So so excited!! are you Jane?

Count'd 08 in WELLINGTON! x)

Sah: in chronological order, thank you for your company, your shoulder, your hugs, your prayer, your texts, your bible verse, your lap, your voice, your prayer, your text, your email and your love. thanks sah (: we're like totally blessing each other can! Thank you for you.

Ern: =D right back at you. what were you smiling at by the way? haha.. hope you're studying hardd!

2007-09-21T16:49:00.000+12:00

Back of the Line

So I’m still at it,
But this I cannot help.
I can’t seem to put myself forth,
No, not at the frontline, my heart won’t bear to sore.

My soul screams for attention,
But with whatever that’s left,
left of my near-lost sanity,
Is the only thing that’s pulling me back.

“Why should they say their thanks?
Why should they shower you back the love?
Maybe you don’t deserve it, or maybe you’re just not good enough.”
These whispers distract me, throughout the endless of days.

My daddy says I am,
Full of worth; bursting and blooming.
His angels tell me so.
But they seem to have forgotten, each time I make that step to go.

I hang in there,
Cos that’s what you say I do.
I hang in there,
Keeping my heart and feelings low.
I hang in there,
Knowing you’ll be at the end.

But daddy,
Will you be just like the rest,
And leave me so?

2007-09-20T17:00:00.000+12:00

I love frying rice with you jess *winks*. hehe, thanks for your words of wisdom hun (: muaacks!

2007-09-17T08:13:00.000+12:00

I kind of want to be in that place. i really do.

the christian churches came together yesterday arvo to clean up and pray for our community. we walked from castle through to hyde st picking up trash (man, that was a lot of trash) and giving out cookies. It was initially quite intimidating to have scarfies line up outside their flats and make a scene, shouting and jeering. Talk about head on persecution of Christ, but what really comforted me was the spirit of the church. From the kids i'd seen at sunday school that very morning, to the lights & sounds guy that had been on that morning. Man, it felt good that I wasn't alone.

kudos to jane lim and ruth who tried to make sure i was still 2 feet from them: heh, it must have been tough.

I'm going to that place. Veh soon too, I hope.

2007-09-14T22:53:00.000+12:00

I don't know what to do! I don't think God has answers to this question.. It's not a big thing, but it does put some sense into bigger real-life pictures that I might have to deal with in the future. And i'm just rambling on, but I can't put sense into this paragraph, if not those who aren't supposed to know, will know. MAN, THIS SUCKS.

Anyway, this is my laugh-out-loud-moment-for-today:

a conversation between a first year health science student, and a music post-grad student 30 mins before an appointment to get blood drawn for applications into Health Science Professional Programmes for 2008.

co: suuuuuuuuuuu! i'm scared!! mehhhhhh.. i don't wanna do this.
su: kk, i tell you what. I'll go do your blood test for you, and you take over me tomorrow!
co: -_-.. no.. i have to do this, and you have to do that. but, but! what if, you know... blood flies EVERYWHERE?! then how?? ):
su: then, then, HAPPY TREE FRIENDS LOR!!

-_-.. haha, so what i didn't need to hear before my appointment. but so what i needed to hear to feel better from the day and its (ok, my) attitude - friends to mock and *super*poke fun of every situation i have (:

SO, the lady had to poke 3 times before successfully hitting an okay well of blood. Apparently i was cold and nervous (well, duh.) meh, i should just have let ariel do it for me. BUT YAY to the fact that i didn't chicken out too much. heh.

time to sleep, yay sleep! and get ready for a day of rest tmr.

ARIEL: i DO trust you!! I so would have gone to you!! now i know -_-.. next time! heh (: I know you won't abuse. if not, i might just have to forget our cat mourning plans. HEHE just kiddin. LOVE YOU (: you know i'll never leave you to weep alone! x) am still waiting to be serenaded (: exciting!! we'll try and hit the high notes and laugh ourselves to bits!!

SAH: THANKS for listening to my whining. I LOOOOVE the graffiti i drew on your wall. HEH. so depicts how you handle my nonsense (: YAY done!! are you proud of me (:

ERN: ring ring. good job on remembering to fast today. i actually thought i was by myself. but NO(: yay! heh. you know the muslim community have just started fasting today too? LETS fast with our mates and pray for them too (:

2007-09-12T21:01:00.000+12:00

Was out on the deck frying tonight's omelettes and veg in the dark and had a nice conversation with Brent. I offered to be smelly since I was already smelly from grange's cooking. haha!

I commented to Brent about the ridiculously long day i was going to be having tomorrow, and Brent nodded in profound agreement. He mentioned that he himself had begun to forget to enjoy the days. And I must have stopped in my tracks for 5 seconds. (Thank goodness it was dark and it wasn't so noticeable.) Man! I have actually forgotten how to enjoy the day. I've forgotten that God blesses us with each and every day and we should embrace what we have (good or bad), cos it's still an annointed-blessing!

ALRIGHTY-HO, I will try as much as I can, to enjoy second-drafting my lab report due tomorrow. I will enjoy the very process of having my blood drawn from my body tomorrow morning. I will find great excitement in my HUBS and BIOC lecture tomorrow and I will have fun at my BIOC lab tomorrow!

Haha i sound really cynical, but really I'll try! I feel like I've been dragging myself painfully through each day, and find joy only on the weekends when i get to sleep in. heh. I will love today (: Cos You gave me today.

Ariel: oh my darling, you know i've always got your back. Even when both of us are down, at least we can cry ourselves together to sleep x) Yeah, i guess God doesn't have favourite voices. I do know yours is one of my favourites ((: LOVE YOU! muackss!

2007-09-11T19:09:00.000+12:00

I'm really sleepy, and I have made resolutions.

Sah: yeah, sleeping well (: but now it seems i can't get enough sleep. but i'm not complaining, sleep has never been so sweet. heh. thanks for your prayers love. i heart you and your amazing prayers.

2007-09-08T23:24:00.001+12:00

meh. sleep has been really bad the past few nights. I'm better, could be better, but am keeping up with whatever loveliness is left that can come out of me. Sorry for the unlucky few who have had to be exposed to insomniac-co over the past few days. You poor, poor things. God rewards those who love the oppressed (:

i even got up to do my CV for 2 hours straight in the middle of the night because tossing and turning for two whole hours in bed felt really unproductive. Being extremely riveted and enthusiastically excited about some incredible incredible news told over the phone before bedtime last night was also not such a good idea. ALTHOUGH, the incredible incredible news is truely a God-good idea. yay! like seriously yay (: yay for sah!

I just told su and ariel. meh, God musn't like my voice. I've been praying spastically for myself and my sleep, and He still won't give it to me! But that night after both these lurvely girls prayed for me, i had my first undisturbed sleep (10 hours worth) for a very long time. And i've been praying insanely for some incredible news to come up for su, and HEY incredible no? Yes God, you must adore my voice. Or maybe, prayer has to be in such a way that we don't pray for ourselves, but for those around us. Ooh, sneaky rules God. heh.

SO YES, had a nice walk through town with sah, the three of us (including ern) had lunch and we ended up mishing at ern's. Then us two headed to the wharf, and days like these are just a blessing ay. It was really nice, and it was good to spend time away from people with people. Then had Han's birthday dinner and had a good catch up with kim/KERN (heh. sorry ern, u must understand that i've been very deprived of sleep!)/stella/chewy. good times ay. The non-taiwanese in a very taiwanese world. haha!

I have to be tired. My calve muscles are aching terribly and my eyes are gonna close on me soon. YAY! sleep!! exciting!! heh. night world (:

Hannah: oh you betcha-ass we gotta talk soon! heh. missing you like ker-azayee! love u darlin. man the year's gone like *that*. when u heading back home ay? hope we get to spend MORE time together, heh at least more than last year. haha!

Ern: heh. it is an honour k! no lah, i'm just saying it's a fantastic opportunity to be a girl (: enough of socialising? yeah, i kinda know what u mean after today. Don't worry, i've got your back whenever and wherever you need me to be (: you CAN do this k? you've got TWO girls watching your back (:

John: hellooo! sorry, john's another uber common name. i know a john yang, john wassef, john tae, john this john that. so many johns some i don't even know their surname -_-. i shall have to allocate you the username tae. haha! hey that's pretty cool (: how are you feeling now? hope you're feeling better!

Ariel: YOU go girl (: at least with me? hee, i need your looove and support. u know that! mwuacks darlin. you didn't look too good tonight (9/9), all good?

2007-09-06T21:42:00.000+12:00

If You can use anything Lord

You can use me

If You can use anything Lord

You can use me

Take my hands Lord and my feet

Touch my heart Lord speak through me

If You can use anything Lord

You can use me

Selah.

"Get out into your cities and remember the calling I have placed in your life. Remember and rejoice, for He will bless those who bless Him. Do not be afraid, for I am with you, I will walk through the deserts and valleys, and you will know that I am always with you. Love those who hate you and speak truth to those who do not hear. Be unto them what I have been to you. Show them that Love is here, waiting. I always have been. Bring them back, for Heaven remembers when you came back."

2007-09-02T10:20:00.000+12:00

For some strange reason, I put myself in the vulnerable position of reviewing the past messages of ex-man (of one day). I suddenly felt disgust. The kind of disgust that'd make you wanna curl up and hide your flushed cheeks that was trying to reveal your utter embarrassment. Although, I'm not quite sure what I'm disgusted about. But I am, a close-to-gag disgusted.

I just laughed out loud to myself cos he just came online. I don't suppose he knows of this blog. BUT even if you do think you're him, for all you know, i've had more relationships after you! meh..

Ok, this is one of those extremely pointless posts that will leave you going 'err... huh!'.

But eeww! That's the only thing that's running through my head as I think about it. And the funniest thing is that I remember saying to myself how lurvely the feeling was when we were together, and that'd it be impossible for me to feel that same disgust as I did um... (even more) before.

The ones who can actually follow me and my boys, would probably fully grasp my sentiments to each. hahahaha!! and I still recall Ariel trying to whisper and sign to me frantically (even though we were just a seat apart) if Ben Liu (the guy who had just walked in through the doors) was one of the boys. HAHA!! How cute! Ben: aren't ya honoured? haha! No, Ben wasn't one of the boys, but he is the sweetest boy though. hehe!

SO YES, pointless point being that ... God actually honoured the decision I made. To choose Him over him, and reject the kind of love that I know can never sustain me. I never thought I would be where I am now, but I am (: I AM, I AM, I AM!! And girls (and guys), you know who you are, He honours what you did too. That strength, that courage, that bravery, that wisdom, and that faith. He honours it all. That was my most difficult but most rewarding decision and journey that I've made thus far. FREAK it's good (: and it's getting better, day by day, cos there's gotta be so much more than this.

er...huh!

AH-REE-ULL: I'm loooookin' LOOKIN' and starin' and glarin' and hehe. i luurve you!

Sah-ness: Sah-ness sounds like a monster. like the loch-ness monster. but you're not a monster! you're tall, but you're not a monster x) haha pointless again. BUT! He's lighting our paths ay? Thanks for prayer (:

Ern: bo-doh lah. haha! kidding. you are gorgeous! a gorgeous chick too. Such an honour I say. hehe (: Are you still feeling anti-social? I say, go get to know more of the girls! hehe..

2007-08-29T00:31:00.000+12:00

Stop looking at her darling. Stop looking. Turn that head and won't you look at me?

But.. She, she's got the eye for design, so keen it'd kill. This darling here, she's got the strongest heart that no matter what you throw at her, I'll fail to compare! That gorgeous one there, she's got love for everyone, no one is short changed, she's nearly perfect.. She's got the wisdom that nourishes every other soul. That one, she's got the fingers that can play any instrument you throw down from heaven onto earth. And she, she's got a voice of an angel, her lips revealing the sweetest of songs that only she deserves to bring forth as praise.

I'll just stand by these gorgeous girls and try not to feel mediocre. I think i can do that. Ok, i'll try!

Stop! Stop looking at her. Stop looking at her,
her and her. I made you! I have mighty plans for you!
I have an incredible journey for you! I have a
destiny so great only you can fulfill without flaw for
me! And i designed all these just for you! Not her, or
her or him or her. Just you (: So stop looking at her
and start looking at me.

That's just where me and the man are now at the mo. Just trying to keep my chin up and looking towards the stars he aligned so perfectly to glaze the night sky, no matter the hysteria (:

2007-08-27T20:23:00.000+12:00

I, CORINNE LEE, do not limit the radius of my friendship circle by +/- 1 years of age. While I wonder if I missed out to the excitement of my youth, I'm glad that I didn't have to go through the drugs, smoking and sex.

I definitely don't fall short of the love-hate relationships but i stand mighty strong in the knowledge that HE loves. HE loves me (: and I am growing as his sexy-single-woman-of-God. yayness!

That aside, meh-ness please go away. I miss my old me. I miss happy-not-so-lethargic me. I say it's the holiday mood. Excuses, excuses i need to get my work done!

SAH: I can't studyy ): I'm so sleepy!! ah, we shall launch our God-gave-everyone-good-posture-so-we-better-be-BOLD-and-beautiful campaign ay? alrighty?? we shall be the pioneers. hahaa!!

2007-08-27T09:17:00.000+12:00

Am I growing up too fast? Have I growned up too fast?

Glorious, glorious sun, you keep shining (:

Ariel: you have a strong heart (: I said you were unfit, not that you have a weak heart.

2007-08-23T22:20:00.000+12:00

Now I suddenly remember, as I lie in bed watching Catch & Release, why I stayed away from movies for so long.

They paint such a thick façade upon reality. They cover and show everything but the truth of what is real. While it was quite a good movie, you wonder why you torture yourself with such surreal unrealistic wishful thinking.

First impressions are everything in this world- unfortunately. Like someone once shared with me, and with which I really agree: they provide us with the only information we need in that situation of uncertainty.

That unkempt man walking past the field, dressed in slacks and thin (nearly see-through) printed tee, slightly shorter than normal with thick black frames adorning his plump face.
On the other side of the field, a tall(er), dark(er) man, endowed with a nearly fully-buttoned crisply-ironed out shirt, and shiny black shoes, to match his suave black locks.

I do agree that forming first impressions upon someone protects yourself, but what about him? Who are we to say any of less of the former? Does putting on the best clothes or being born with the prettiest face and longest legs, let you off any lighter from playing that girl/guy, give you a better chance of redeeming yourself of past sin, or free you from unwanted labels?

We are redeemed from that past sin (: But man, we’re just not any less from that gorgeous tall talented person (who is actually a being), nor are we any more from that girl shorter and less fluent with her speech as we are.

My thoughts are all over the place -_-.

Sah: haha.. sah-lyn is the girl (: ladyyy, give me a heads up for your designs. Love ya lots!

2007-08-23T10:39:00.000+12:00

POO to classes. i've declared self-directed learning. well, till the holidays and this meh-ness wears off. and i will be on top of it! (hopefully...)

OK, replying my gorgeous chicks who left tag-stuff-nots (: now where do i start.. oh yes, ro and the censored pic.

ro: haha er no. i didn't censor anything! and to the world: rob rox too la! hahaha ((: love u hun!

chwee ling: HELLO!! haha it has been a long time again. haha! i'm busy-ish but coping well (: how are u! are you staying in dunedin next year?

ariel: my dahlingggg (: I LOVE YOU!! you have no idea how glad i am that your beautiful voice is finally back! hehe and that rib ain't cracked. x) haha, and HMM i wonder why your heart rate is always 90s.. mine's like 70ish.. unfit girl xp haha!!

su: pressing in (: with the help of you hor? i had a thought.. what if all of the su-somethings (you have no idea how many sulins, sulyns, suyis, suyees, suyins i know!) i know signed off as su. aww man confusion! this is sah right?

est: est! est! est! ESTER-ASE!! you're a great enzyme (: aiding relational reactions and never being used up! I LOVE YOU!! hahaha..

ern: watch the cocolees yo.. haha i'm kidding! i'm tolerating this cos i know it won't last. haha kidding again. i've heard it all. try me ;p co, coe, coey, cooooooo, coco, cocopops, cocopuffs, cocolee, coke, cokiepokie, smokes, corinne (so original ay? haha!) ern.. URN x) that intricately-shaped vase.

I BID you all farewell cos i'm gonna do some self-directed learning *winks*. laters!

2007-08-20T23:56:00.000+12:00

What an unintentionally exciting day it was today. My heart literally raced close to a 100 beats per minutes through my 45 minute psyc lab about first impressions, through to the 2 hour lunch + coffee with su, through flying and cutting through the wind across campus in 5 minutes, sitting through 2 hours of thoroughly exhilarating lectures on Statistics and Artherosclerosis, and the little dinner party for Jimmy's birthday.

Ooh side track! Happy birthday jimboz ((:

It sounds like i rushed through the whole day and had no time to breath. Yeah, so out of breath. OMG. my heart was beating so fast i couldn't even sit still at lectures, and it didn't help that i really really needed to go to the toilet halfway through and was seated like 3 rows from the lecturer. And I had trouble stabilising my head and hand to feed my quivering body during dinner. I felt so pathetic and embarrassed! Even smiling was difficult when they took photos tonight. POO.

who knows if it was the fact that i woke up late and missed all my morning lectures, or if it was that i totally freaked out upon hearing that i had to participate in 2 psyc experiments and hand in worksheets by this freaking thurs, or if it was the input of wisdom(and gossip of herself) by su, or if it was the coffee (which actually made it a lot worse), or the excitement of lectures on stastiscal methods and arterial blockages.

pfft. hopefully i'm a tad calmer tomorrow ay. yay to drugs. the good kind (:

2007-08-17T18:34:00.000+12:00

It's so easy to realise things that make you weak. Things that pull you down, and things that deface the name you carry as a Child of God.

Thoughts like 'You're not good enough co', 'You're so small in this world, too insignificant to matter to anyone or anything', 'You have no talent, look at everyone around you, you're nothing', 'There'll always be someone better than you, there's no use trying', . Thoughts like these are always gonna try and get you down, and are inevitable when you've chosen to walk that walk with God.

And you know what? I've moped around long enough. Today (jane my darlin), was one of the many days that have already happened. It must be time to move on. It must be (: You'll help me (hor) jane?

It's whether you want to let those thoughts take over, and whether you want to rise up beyond what the devil thinks of you. He's freaking afraid of who you are, what you can be, and what you can do! Hence those nasty son-of-a-beep thoughts he attempts to put in your mind and tries to pull you down with! NAH. he's had enough attention, HE, the Son of God, the Creator of all things beautiful (i.e. YOU), on the other hand hasn't had enough of our attention (:

God made us in the image of himself! How awesome is that? Who we are, as boldly as our heart might dare to think? We're just the tip of the tip of the tip of the tip (you get my picture) of the iceberg of HIS love, and HIS beauty (:

And to all the darlings out there (especially you, you and you), beauty was defined on the night of King's Ball. Cos it was a celebration of who we are in HIS name, and who we are in HIS eyes. And you better know that HE thinks you're beautiful, and so do i (:

2007-08-15T20:27:00.000+12:00

If it's not pleasing unto your ears, and is not worthy to be lifted as praise,
remove this passion that's within me God.

2007-08-15T18:10:00.000+12:00

My incredibly random thoughts for today.

HEAL192 is the most poorly structure paper i've ever taken, and the uni's Department of Preventive and Social Medicine really should do something about it. -_-...

I'm hungry, and am craving kimchi chicken fried rice which i just had yesterday.

Sleep is so good for the system. I can't wait to sleep tonight!

I wonder what my talent is. do u know?

ARIEL my darling, hope your exam went well (: and your ribs are feeling slightly better. hehe.

JANE LEE my other darling, hope your abdominal muscles behaved better today.

SULYN my other other darling, hope you're feeling better and the vicks is working.

JANE LIM i hear you're better! yayyy! well done with the raw ginger chewing (:

to all of you, i'm sorry haven't been around. i'm sure you don't miss my disturbances anywhoo (:

RO stand strong my love (: guard that heart of yours ;p

EST thanks for the gloves! they're so pretty ((: meh. i should return them to you, even though i haven't worn them xp

and that's that for my aimless post, cos my rumbling stomach is distracting me, and probably the rest of the library. muahaha..

2007-08-10T15:11:00.000+12:00

HEE. I really should be studying. Well, i was, and i'm just taking my one (of many) breaks.

MAN, THANK YOU GOD (: you've been so faithful. I've been struggling to see that face of yours. And you know, Raina and Claire and Su were right. He'll honour the decision you make, when you choose to set yourself apart from everything else. The study, piles of assignments, 'beauty', relationships, feelings, status, reputation, money, possessions, intelligence, scores, talents, abilities, CVs, diplomas.

When you've realised for yourself that there's so much more to life, so much more to yourself than all of that. When you see that this world cannot satisfy or fill that gap screaming within you. When you decide that you need and deserve something so much more fulfilling. A kind of something that doesn't fail, that is ALWAYS always always there, that doesn't judge, and loves and hopes despite knowing your DEEPEST deepest deepest fears, failures and flaws.

When you come before and tell Him, 'all i want is you, Jesus.' The heavens burst in praise and worship in having once again brought another one of His lost sheep through the gates. The moment the entire heavens anticipate. Isn't that awesome?

I never thought i'd be moved by His hand-moulded mountains and seas. But today, for the first time ever. I was (: Din, Pete and I headed for an impromptu trip to St Clairs. Just sitting on the bonnet staring right through the horizon, with only a felt marker line separating the skies and seas. The mighty waves that arose from the ever-still horizon, crashing onto walls, and bursting into rainbows - literally. If that's not the Beauty of God, I don't know what is.

But something that comes with being totally awed out by this Beauty, was the wintery seasons I had to go through. And all i can say is that perseverance totally pays off. Keep up that hunger for Him, and you won't be dissappointed (:

God's Beauty can't be captured with a single shot. So, sorry! couldn't bring back a photo that would do His Beauty a microscopic fraction of justice (:

KING'S BALL TONIGHT; hubs test tmr. YAY!

2007-08-07T09:45:00.000+12:00

I'm not the sort who listens to sermons on any form of recorded media. I always thought it to be a bit dry, and pictured myself falling asleep to the droning on of words.

WRONG i say. I sat myself (in bed too! oh the temptation to fall asleep) all equipped and actually with an expectant heart, and i listened to an hour's length of someone speaking!

Tak Bhana's - Confidence has really woken me up and now I can't say God hasn't equipped me to rise up from that collapsed stronghold of confidence no longer. When I saw his name - Tak Bhana - I thought it was a malay word for something, and i didn't bother asking about it, till Su thrusted it into my hands.

Let's just say God works in some amazing ways. Looking back, the dress fitting for the gowns were merely God's little excuse for me to trudge on down two lengths of streets to see a little missy (or two. actually three.) The timing couldn't be more perfect, and the person (i really must say) couldn't be more relevant. If that makes sense -_-.. Su, if i haven't already told you, i nearly see you like me. And like you, i'm gonna conquer all stupid stuff x) exciting!

2007-07-31T12:51:00.000+12:00

So they say I might have died a very successful spinster-cum-shrink in my past life. hahah!

i'll miss you chun young..

2007-07-14T14:48:00.000+12:00

What are you, stripped away from your demands, posts, responsibilities, circles of friends, relationships, money and superficial beauty? Who will you stand to represent when you come before God?

I LOVE lifegroup. it was a special treat for suu and jane to be there too last night! Having had exams and holidays all through these past weeks, made me forget how much i love these girls! Claire posed a question to us ... 'if you were stripped from everything on this earth, would you know your value?'

Something i know heaps of girls struggle through, and that's dealing with their insecurities. I decided to take on a 40-day devotional - Fearless (meant for someone, but i thought to take on the challenge too). And today's reading made me think.

God is a god of Love. A god that never fails nor forsakes nor let's us down. It is our demands and expectations of what we want, that goes beyond His plans for us that let's ourselves down. God merely doesn't have the same plan as we do for ourselves. More often than not, we think we know what's best for ourselves. Afterall, it is our life! but God, the creator & perfector of all things, does He not have the most perfect-ed plan for each and everyone of His children? We can't beat perfection, so why not hang onto the God of perfection (:

2007-07-12T21:53:00.000+12:00

Jo reckons I've got chronic fatigue. I think so too. POP ME PILLS. They should have coffee or V pills. That'd work (: quick and easy. And the pharmaceutical/food industry really should consider the lactose intolerant.

I thought I'd be cheeky and grab an ice cream from Gourmet Ice Cream. Esther saw me suffer the major consequences. No more ice cream, no more coffee ):

Ern: i read 'co..' haha, so i was gonna reply to you 'ern...' haha, but now that my eyes are bigger, i realise it's 'oo...'. So i shall reply 'aa...' haha.

Nad: DAMN hols are over! haha. but thanks for your help at clubs day the other day! x) keep warm, and study hard babe!

Chwee Ling: haha i caught a longgggg glimpse of you at jess's birthday! it was good seeing you! all the best for sem 2 as well (: hope you did well in the exams sweetie!!

over and out. maybe i'm anaemic. i'm friggin tired.

2007-07-04T16:03:00.000+12:00

God be with those who explore in the cause for understanding, whose search takes them far from what is familiar and comfortable and leads them into terrible danger or terrifying loneliness. Let us try to understand their sometimes strange and difficult ways; their confronting or unusual language; the uncommon life of their emotions, for they have been affected and shaped and changed by their struggle at the frontiers of a wild darkness, just as we may be affected, shaped and changed by the insights they bring back to us. Bless them with strength and peace.

Amen.

Taken from Leunig's When I Talk To You.

How awesome (: Haha love this book!

nad: helloo darling! hope u have a good holiday too xp hey, whenever you need me sista, i'm here!!

ariel: halooooo!! coming back soon ): dunedin is so incredibly boring!! let's go watch fantastic four or something silly! muacks!

chwee ling: hello dear! how have u been? haven't seen you around hmm.. at all! haha, hope things are very well on your side! we should have coffee or something sometime ay!

2007-07-02T17:52:00.000+12:00

God help us

To rise up from our struggle.

Like a tree rises up from the soil.

Our roots reaching down to our trouble,

Our rich, dark dirt of existence.

Finding nourishment deeply,

And holding us firmly.

Always connected.

Growing upwards and into the Sun.

Taken from Leunig's When I Talk to You.

2007-07-01T23:02:00.000+12:00

mum and dad at the fish market station.

our leftbehinds (:

jo and carol with the pelicans (:

fighting - i mean feeding - daddy (with to-die-for prawns).

me, carol and uncle leonard at Grappa.

Arrival at the Oaks; me, jo, mum, jen

my wonderful cousins: marcus, monty and my uncle leonard.

me and galven at that crepe/waffle place by the rocks.

mum and her four girls (:

the four girls: jen, me, carol and jo

Can't wait for another Sydney 07. you must note that it has been more than a couple way too many years that the family has been like that for a family holiday. hehe, and it was tough, cos all my sisters had be away from their other halves for 8 days. They did well (: It was chaos all over again, 4 girls in an apartment, fighting for ONE adaptor (phone charger/ PDA charger/ hair straightener/ hair dryer etc.), fighting for ONE bathroom. haha a challenge, but so worth it.

It was so good to catch up with our Sydney rellies, such a treat to see the new addition to the family - Jasmine (: She looks like one of those advert babies! i shall show another time, but for now, let's do it again soon family (:

2007-06-13T19:19:00.000+12:00

Envy and Admiration. two very different words I've finally learnt to differentiate in play.
i do envy the ladies who've got their boys sorted. I envy, just like the many people i can ring hands with, the love and attention they get from someone who thinks about them 24/7. Who messages them lovey-dovey texts, and surprises them with flowers or goodies a number close to 8 times a day (: that i envy.

But the ladies i really admire, are those who keep their hearts guarded. The ones that have made the choice to give their hearts to God. Even if it means saying 'no' to a young fella. It's the sacrifice they've made, the journey they've chosen to follow despite knowing the suffering and hurt they might have to bear on the way. These ladies are the last, the very last who are short of love. They're the ones who understand that there is a fella (maybe not so young), that has the greatest hope in them, despite knowing their every flaw. Your fellow girlfriends might not fully understand, or even begin to judge you. But stand strong sweeties, and keep guarding that heart of yours (:

Don't take it the wrong way, I don't think BGRs are wrong. I think they're the greatest thing God has given us! Just take to heart you ladies out there (you know who you are *winks*) that He put you through what you're going through, cos He's got something HUGE AS for you (: If you'd just take me out for coffee sometime, i'd looove to tell you, whoever you are, about it (: Even if means me taking a rain check for the end of the year when i get back to Singapore!

And that's my take on the difference between envy and admiration. oh bring it on! haha x)

2007-06-12T10:01:00.000+12:00

I shall just dedicate this blog to ariel and rob now. muahaha x)

Firstly, ARIEL! how was 300 last night? but you were supposed to be studying!! well, hope you know what you're doing darling. as long as you know (:

Secondly, i'm so sorry RO. chem killed me last night. haha.. before i tried to kill it. haha oh the bummers of it all. and HEY, why would a BSc be bad? it'll just be an excuse for me to slack off. haha.. but yes, i'll do my best in all that i do, even if i do do a BSc, that'd be fun, except for the assays, i mean essays. hahahahah!

My mother says that i'm living on junk, coffee, pills and notes. haha! she is right. but junking it all up for another 3 more days and i'll make sure i'll do a thorough detox. physical detox, exam detox, boy detox, nonsense or missense detox. muahahah! ok. enough CELS. i'm so poofed (not gayed out, just poofed like a magic cloud into the sky) out from CELS. bring it on chem. but wait, let me study first. haha!

study hard ARIEL AND RO! x)

2007-06-09T23:47:00.000+12:00

Boy A: Who's that girl in that pic?
Me: Oh, that's ...
Boy A: She's got giant cheeks!!

SO uber funny how boys or people in general make comments, and some of us (very much me anyway), become really insecure of their babble. Giant cheeks, hmm.. didn't really notice. I did notice how freaking gorgeous she is though.

Looks ain't everything, and my darlings have taught me so much. Haha, while i still have much to learn (: Just be who you are! God made you perfect in His image, and He thinks every single part of you is spilling with gorgeousness! It's incredibly difficult to imagine (haha, i know.) but there's a whole book in the bible about Him raving about us (: Isn't that awesome?

Girls, don't let any comment people say get you down. Don't please the flawed eyes and minds of man, but the perfecto vision and heart of your maker (:

haha.. pfft. boys. see how you affect us girls so..

2007-06-09T23:37:00.000+12:00

i didn't realise you were so complex. i mean, i didn't realise there was so much going on in your life. well, duh. the number of people who know me - many. the number of people who know me - not so many. come on, probe me.

muahaha, love you ariel!! AND i'm looking out for you too babe x) i'm so proud of everything you've been up to! well, that i know off anyway. hmm.. haha!!

ROBO who cares about autosomal recessive disorders and how they can be inherited ay! hahaha we'll just kick more ass on monday x) LOVE YOU!!

2007-06-07T14:14:00.000+12:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBB!!

Hehe happy birthday baby!! Hehe although it's a day before the first big exams, i hope you had a nice lunch buubs!! muacks x) Hope you had a good day (: looove you, thanks for everything! and it was SO good to catch up with u over calamari rings and prawn cocktails x) hehe! and it snowed today too!

hehe, it was funny when i saw ariel, and i walked in with Ben and she was like 'is he a number??' haha!! so cuute! i was like 'what number?? HUR?? haha!' love you babe! and she was trying to ask esther behind me without letting me know! haha indeed my darling esther knows too!! hehe (: okok off to study ay *winks to esther* hehe..

2007-06-04T12:13:00.000+12:00

i am a lion. hear me roar. RARR!! hahah x)

A: God give me something that will ease the pain!!
A notices the incredible stillness outside the window from where she's working, and hears a random thought ( i have no idea how you hear random thoughts) that says: cookies and cream ice cream and bioelectricity!! (:
A: awesome stuff! haha..

I'm just being absolutely random, and it's been a while since i've felt this way. kinda feels nice (: things could be going better. well, everything could always be going better, but for now, i can only keep chugging along (ay tingo ;p), and clean up the house before mum arrives from Singapore. hee (:

C'mon! snow can't even make my day boo! (:

to my lovely ariel:
how have things been going for you ay! i miss you heaps and i haven't been able to seeeee you in such a long while. well, i kinda saw you yesterday, but that split second shoving stuff into your freezer wasn't counted. haha! well i'll see you this friday! i think. hehe x)

2007-06-02T08:11:00.000+12:00

i lay everything at your feet, and take up your cross (:

2007-05-30T18:54:00.000+12:00

I was just emailing eden, and i thought a small excerpt of it would summarise what's been going on in my life for the past 8 weeks?

"it's so crazy how since you number 1 left, i've seen myself really grow so
much, and how much God has moulded me to be who i am today. if it weren't for
you number 1, this whole cascade of learning would never had happend, and i
wouldn't have understood what emotional rebound was. haha if it wasn't for you
number 2, i could have hurt someone else closer to me (phew thank goodness), and
not realise that there are actually people who can really play you! If not for
you number 3, i wouldn't have been in the position to choose between
number 3's love and God's love, and i wouldn't have had made the personal choice
to choose to follow God and find this love He has for me (: if it weren't for
you number 4, i wouldn't have realised the racism that goes around, and be aware
that some cultures tend not to be too keen in dilution of their own kind,
and i'll still be that thwarted naive girl i was. If it weren't for you number
5, i wouldn't have realised that guys too, as much as girls, fall very easily
for girls who are nice, and if not you number 6, i wouldn't have realised the
meaning of God's time (:"

Not to say everything’s all fine and dandy, but I choose, from the free will he has granted each and everyone of us, to be open to some hurt and pain, and allow mistakes so that I can learn and grow. I throw away the old wineskin, and bring out the new wineskin that’s gonna build me more than ever before.

Eden knows who these numbers are. And if you've got the word slut in your mind, you've got some lessons you've got to learn about passing judgement. Truth be told, i'd have that word in my mind as well. But, it's cos this is God's journey for me, that i choose not to bother what people might think.

To all the numbers in my past 8 weeks, thank you for everything, cos you built me up.
And now, back to study (:

2007-05-21T02:16:00.000+12:00

the devil, or Jesus Christ?

a test to build my Faith, or a block to stumble and make me fall?

all a coincidence, or a blessed union of His love for me?

HMM...

2007-05-20T13:24:00.000+12:00

my goodness! the thoughts that roll of my tongue as words in the sneak of the night! talk about EMO. never mind all is good, i love being emo, and then looking back when i'm no longer emo, and laughing about my emo self. like now, haha!

here's a memo to all: when i die, play the hymn by Brooke Fraser at my funeral ok? i was gonna get suu to play, but that's only if she's um still there where i'm um gone. haha! okay morbid indeed. Yes jo, it's the 12th track of her Albertine CD. hahah!

speaking of suu, went to watch Man of the Year yesterday. it was the most random movie ever! not content random, but context random. We were a week early for pirates, hahaha so we decided to still watch something.. and the only other shows were Spidey 3(which we'll watch next fri with the rest of the girls), Mr Bean's Holiday, and um some other random movie. SO, we got ourselves into that. which was quite good for a first-time random movie so yay!

Bring me out to play!! it's such a beautiful day, and i'm at home. i don't know why.

2007-05-19T22:07:00.000+12:00

it absolutely stinks.

i long to talk to you, but it seems it'll only make me worse.

all the while i found it seemed fine.

apparently not, ay. i can't see you, yet i yearn to.

i have to stop wasting my days on nothing-ness.

life has got to get better than this for me.

i hate me, for getting into all this crap.

crap that has made me stink. how profound.

haha dang. all your, your, and your. emo-ness has rubbed off me. it absolutely annoys me! and i wish you, you, you, you, you, you, and you would go away.

HAHA, mum i'm hearing your stories from jo. I tell you what, i've got a plan. I shall transfer ALL my hormones to you (: how's that. hehe TAKE TAKE TAKE IT ALL! muacks, love you. and by the way, i cooked up noodles for myself tonight. cos jo kept going ON AND ON AND ON about oil. gosh. aren't you proud x)

2007-04-28T21:08:00.000+12:00

I didn't think I'd actually lose interest in CELS. CELS 191, Cell and Molecular Biology, is actually really difficult to study for! The concepts aren't difficult, yet it's not something that you can memorise. One thing that has made me lose total interest in it, is the evolutionary concepts. It's funny people actually believe we were once monkeys. GOSH! King KONG ain't my grandfather!! Kong kong is (: haha!! ok, only people who speak chinese will understand that one. Kong kong meaning Grandfather in Mandarin or some chinese dialect. AND don't even try to slap me with your profound knowledge of how the term 'kong kong' was derived.

PFFT. i have to waste my time reading all this crap which isn't true. but okk.. just so i can do 'well' ay. hahaha!

2007-04-27T19:14:00.000+12:00

YAWN. I'm so tired. Boo. Bah. YAWN.

thank God for Sulyn whom i'm gonna join up on the BOYS-DON'T-DEFINE-ME pedestal. hehe, or pedestral. or i don't know what she called it! THANK GOD for Jaime SEON HWA who helps me during chem lab ;p and who's my insider on EVERYTHING! haha! thank God for Jimmy choooz who helps my feet look pretty everyday! nah i'm kidding, hehe talking is fun HUH! haha!!

ok, yawn. tired bah. boo.

2007-04-22T21:24:00.000+12:00

Which is worse? Falling for someone, yet not being able to receive the love, or someone falling for you, while you don't feel you can give the love? Damn.

2007-04-15T00:01:00.000+12:00

I had to post again, after stumbling on a certain someone's blog.

Things happen for a reason. Things that make life seem such a hassle, they build you up. Things that make life seemingly unworthy of living, creates character. Things that make life seem such a pain in the ass, teaches you how to move on the next time a similar situation happens.

I've learnt so much about myself since 2006. The things i despise, the people i truely enjoy being around, my personality that helped (and is still helping) me fall, my character that was so empty without Him. I was one Naive Brat, and in a way, I still am. But the things that happened has taught me that I cannot always be there for people, if it means me not being there for myself. It taught me that I need to build myself up first, before building others. It taught me that emotional backlashes will happen, and it's only when you go right back to the source, can you then get yourself out of this vicious cycle.

Man, life's not easy. It isn't meant to be. But the most important thing that I learnt too was that, you've also got to learn to let go. No matter how painful. It is a burden on you. It is a burden on the person you still blame. And It is a burden on the person your friends you've confided with blame. They may not say it, but that's what usually happens.

I'm not anyone to judge, cos I haven't heard your side of the story. But dear, I've played your part many times over, it has actually brought me to a relationship ban. And trust me, as much as she's beautiful, and she was the best thing that ever happened to you, you've got to let go. Give her, and give yourself, a break. It'll only make you weaker and deprive you of the joy in life God has yet to show you.

You probably think I'm siding her too. I'm only really trying to support her. Just like you, she needs her back-up crew. She goes through as much, if not, more stress than you. Just like I do (*winks to this special girl), she needs her space too.

Take care brudder. You'll be in my prayers.

2007-04-14T23:33:00.000+12:00

The B-E-A-YOU-TEE-FULL Set-up

Me and the purr-eeet-tee Sulyn. Haha, not Rob, like everyone's asking. Where is Rob!?

The Set-up slightly clearer.

Brooke Fraser :D

She's AWESOME!

Just some pretty pictures of last night, the first night of Brooke Fraser's Albertine Tour, courtesy of fei-kor KEV. Haha, and yes, indeed i'm in the mood for phonics.

Don't do ANYTHING until you know me. Don't even try.

2007-04-14T00:01:00.000+12:00

Don't let the sun set on regrets.

That's something i brought back from Brooke Fraser's Albertine Tour Concert :D It was an incredible night. ROB I hope you had as much fun as i did (: Glad to hear that her concert is comparable to your Bible (: hehe!

She's got such an amazing talent, and she's just got such an incredible personality! Her concert tonight was so natural. And it wasn't uptight and an all-about-me-oh!-look-at-me! kind of concert. She really let God shine through her (:

Everything from the sudden-backdrop-fall, dolly pink haired pianist-cum-violinist, beautiful set-up, and to Brooke Fraser herself talking about her song Seeds and somehow relating that to Modern Day Father's eating their wives placentas. haha!

It was greeeatt fun ;D All the best Brooke! Just in case you're just like me, randomly reading blogs. Have a great time! And continue to shine for JESUS. You were great tonight at the Town Hall :D